Mom? Where Is Your Cell Phone?

::Ring, ring! Ring, ring!::

Mom: "Herro?"
Me: "Mom? Hey, where is your phone?"
Mom: "I talk on it! You call  me on my hand phone now."
Me: "No Ma, your other phone?"
Mom: "It no ring!"
Me: "No, where is it?"
Mom: "Melondie-a! I tell you, it no ring!"
Me: "I know its not ringing, Crazy! This really nice man just called me saying that he found your phone in front of the store. You dropped it, he's nice enough to drop it off to you today there, so make sure you thank him."
Mom: "He take MY PHONE!? WHY? Why he take it?"
Me: "No Lady! You dropped it and he found it and is going to bring it back to you!"
Mom: "Oh, so how you know he have my phone??
Me: "Really? Seriously? I'm hanging up now."

My Mother can't keep track of her cell phone if her life depended on it. Its gotten to the point where we put a lanyard on the particular phone I'm talking about! Oh, and no she still doesn't know how to use that smartphone we got her. She has 2 phones, one she really doesn't know how to use and the other she loses.