Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Mom? Where Is Your Cell Phone?

::Ring, ring! Ring, ring!::
Mom: "Herro?"
Me: "Mom? Hey, where is your phone?"
Mom: "I talk on it! You call  me on my hand phone now."
Me: "No Ma, your other phone?"
Mom: "It no ring!"
Me: "No, where is it?"
Mom: "Melondie-a! I tell you, it no ring!"
Me: "I know its not ringing, Crazy! This really nice man just called me saying that he found your phone in front of the store. You dropped it, he's nice enough to drop it off to you today there, so make sure you thank him."
Mom: "He take MY PHONE!? WHY? Why he take it?"
Me: "No Lady! You dropped it and he found it and is going to bring it back to you!"
Mom: "Oh, so how you know he have my phone??
Me: "Really? Seriously? I'm hanging up now."

My Mother can't keep track of her cell phone if her life depended on it. Its gotten to the point where we put a lanyard on the particular phone I'm talking about! Oh, and no she still doesn't know how to use that smartphone we got her. She has 2 phones, one she really doesn't know how to use and the other she loses.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

You My Baby... Still...

Mom: "Because baby gone for 2 weeks, you my baby."
Me: "NO! I don't want to be your baby. You told me that I would always be your baby, then I had a baby and I'm not your baby anymore."
Mom: "But baby gone, so you have all Mommy attention."
Me: "Really!? Want to hang out Ma?"
Mom: "No, I go now. I have to go bank, then bookkeeper."
Me: "But you said..."
Mom: "You stay here by you self and play on the internet. OK? Bye."
Me: "What the hell just happened?"

Family Liquor Store.

I go to visit my Mom and Brother at their liquor store and I stumble across some hookah tobacco they sell that's kimchee flavored.
Me: "Mike, people actually buy this? Who would like to smoke kimchee!?"
Mike: "You'll be surprised sis, people loved this stuff."
Mom: "It's Neegel!"
:: Mike and I look at each other.::
Me: "Did she say what I think she said"
Mike: "No, but it sounded like she said it!"
Mom: "It's neegel right?"
::Mike and I laugh out loud.::
Mike: "Yeah Mom, it's LEGAL."
Mom: "That what I say... Neegel." 
Me: "This one is so going up on my blog."