Melons

Mom and I are at my Midwives' office. It's a bit crowded and we're waiting for my name to be called, so I can waddle back and get on with the routine checkups. We're seated next to a very pregnant mom with 2 cute toddlers, and a couple from Senegal.  

Mom: Melondie-a, you give baby milk like you do for my Wahng-ja? (Prince in Korean)

Me: That's my plan. Little man hasn't been really sick or any other major health issues with the exception of the Hand Foot and Mouth and sinus/allergies. So really, it's a win-win.

Mom: That's good... You know? You booboo look like BIG MELON.

::The lady with the kids just starts laughing. The couple look a little shocked. I'm mortified.::

Mom: You booboo only going to get bigger, then my Wahng-ja going to be jealous when he see you give my new baby milk with you MELON BOOBOO!

Me: Mom can we please stop talking about this right now?

Mom: What's wrong? Mommy just...

::The nurse opens the door and calls my name.::

Me: Oh thank God. 

The Wheels On The Bus.

My Son's new favorite song is The Wheels On The Bus. My Mom is here in Nashville helping care for my little guy as I'm in the last leg of my second pregnancy and am basically immobile at the moment from sciatic pain. 


Turtle asks my Mom to sing his song while we're driving down the street.


Mom: Da' reel-ru' on da' bus-u' go round and round-u', round and round-u', round and round-u'. Da' reel-ru' on da' bus-u' go round and round-u' all down da' road-u'


Da bus-u' then hit da' curb-u', hit the curb-u' and da' bus almost hit da' ma...
Me: Mom! No, no, no! Don't say what you're about to say. 
Mom: Wha? I don't know this song. 
Mel: Yeah, let's stick to the ones you know. 

Mom and I don't often see eye to eye when it comes to certain vocabulary or topics being said to my son at the age of 2, i.e. the bus about to run over a man.

I Miss You, But...

::My family has moved to Nashville which is roughly 3 hours away from my mom. We're on Skype and this is what she says to me.::

Mom: "Melondie-a, I miss you."
Me: "I miss you too."
Mom: " I'm sorry, I miss you... But not how I miss Logan."
Me: "WTF? Fine, I miss you too, but not how I miss my friends."
Mom: "Bad girl! You can't talk to me like that!"

Would Like Mint With Your Tea?

Mom has a friend over and they are conversing on how proud they are of me. Mom is gabbing about my son and husband, and how she hopes this next baby I'm gestating is as cute as Turtle. Meanwhile, I've made a fruit iced tea, and I'm serving them their beverages to be nice.

Mom's Friend: "Melondie-a, I remember when you just baby, how can baby have baby? Now TWO baby! I'm so proud obu' you. You know?"

 Me: "Oh thank you, I haven't really done anything special, I'm just me."

I bend over to pour her tea and...

"PoooooOOOOOOooooooOOOOOOOooooOOOOoooooooooot!"

Mom: "Yells some inaudible thing in Korean."

Me: "My bad, you know how pregnancy goes. Would you like mint with that?"