Fork

This is what I hear as I walk into the kitchen for dinner. My Mother is talking to my 21month old son who wants to only use chopsticks, she insists that a fork would be easier for his noodles. 

Mom: "Baby-ya, use-u you fooku, you fooku!"
Logan: "NOOOO!"
Mom: "Fooooooooku! No chopstick, YOU FOOOOOKU"


Me: "Mom?"
Mom: "Wha?"
Me: "Maybe you should just say it to him in Korean."

Sam's Club Adventures!

:: Mom and I are in the car driving to Sam's Club. I've actually allowed her to drive. Mind you, I never do, because I often fear for my life. She is the epitome of the "Asian Driver." This is our story as we pull into the parking lot and she tries to find parking. ::

Me: "Um... Mom? We're coming to a crosswalk! These people have the right of way!"

Mom: "No! See, they running! Is okay Melondie-a!"

Me: "Help."

Tattoos and Boobies.

Mom: "Uh oh, you not gonna' finish you tattoo until yo' baby done wit' yo' boobie."
Me: "Yes Mom, I know I can't finish it until I'm done nursing. So I'm going to have to wait a while."

::She starts to laugh::

Mom: "You boobie gonna' get so big again, BIG booobie"
Me: "I know, it happens"
Mom: "I'm proud you give baby milk...."
Me: "Awwwwwwe, thanks Mommy."
Mom: "But when your boobie get small like little apple, THEN you 
finish tattoo. OK? You know, like little tangerine, not like orange, but smaaaaaaaaaall one."
Me: "Yeah, I get it, thanks"


My mom has always referred to my girls as "boobies" or some sort of fruit. It's especially embarrassing when she does it in public.